


Holding Onto You

by dwarfelephant



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alpha Victor Nikiforov, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Anxiety, But it's not that simple..., Childhood Sweethearts, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Guns, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Mafia Victor Nikiforov, Not between Victor and Yuuri though, Omega Katsuki Yuuri, Organized Crime, Panic Attacks, Romantic Soulmates, Unhealthy Relationships, Violence, but it will get better, mafia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:01:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24248479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dwarfelephant/pseuds/dwarfelephant
Summary: The people around them say they're true mates, but it soon becomes abundantly clear to both Yuuri and Victor that being soulmates isn't going to be the easy, light-hearted adventure that others have made it out to be.
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 33
Kudos: 130





	1. Drowning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, this is something that I've been working on for quite a while now (I'm so excited to FINALLY put it out there!). I really hope you guys find it interesting. This chapter spans many years, so it's important to note that the numbers at the beginning of a time period indicate Yuuri and Victor's age (Victor is older). Enjoy!

**4 ; 0**

The opulent lounge room confused the small boy at first. The large paintings of dragons framed in gold replaced the paintings of bears that he had become so accustomed to in Russia, and he stared in wonder at the bold Japanese characters that were written on the pristine white walls. 

His parents had told him to stay put in this room, and Victor was far too shy to approach the woman who was sitting down. Her scent reminded him so much of his own father’s scent, but there was an underlying scent that almost made him feel sick. Eventually, Victor became tired of standing there and tried his best to build up some courage. 

“Mrs. Katsuki, can I sit near you?” 

“Awe dear, you don’t have to ask!” The omega exclaimed, a bright smile on her face as she rested a hand on her stomach. She carefully moved to the left and patted the space next to her.

The small boy hopped onto the small red settee in the lounge, and the woman’s smile faltered at the boy’s pained expression. 

“Victor, dear, are you feeling okay?” 

“Mrs. Katsuki, I don’t feel… _right._ ” 

“Is there anything I can do to help? Your mommy won’t be finished talking to my alpha for a quite a few minutes… is it a stomach ache, honey?” 

“No… it’s like something here!” The white-haired boy pointed to his own head, not knowing how to describe his odd physical ailment. 

“That’s… odd, Victor. Maybe we should get you to our doctor, I’m sure he’d know what to d-” 

“Mrs. Katsuki, can I put head here?” Victor’s small hand rested on her baby bump, making the omega’s eyes widen. 

“I… I don’t know how your parents would react to that, dear.” Mrs. Katsuki voiced, but at the sight of tears welling up in the small boy’s eyes she quickly changed her mind. “Oh no, don’t cry please, Victor. Go ahead, just be very careful, okay?” She warned, staring in wonder at the kid next to her. 

“Okay, Mrs. Katsuki.” The boy laid on his side and rested his head on the woman’s bump, making sure to not press down with too much weight. “Thank you.” 

The omega threaded her hands through Victor’s hair as he rested, wondering what exactly was wrong with the four-year-old boy. 

When the alphas exited the meeting room, they silently stared, confused looks on their faces. 

Mrs. Katsuki had no explanation to offer them. 

\------------------------------

“Victor, you can’t keep trailing behind Mrs. Katsuki like that! She may accidently hit you or something, dear.” His mother chided him, trying her best to give the omega an apologetic look. 

  
“Alpha Nikiforov, please don’t pay it attention. I just think Victor here is a little fascinated with my bump.” 

“I’m glad he’s not not causing too much trouble, then. I’m simply worried he might also cause harm to you in any way. I don’t think Alpha Katsuki would be too happy about that.” The alpha explained, her eyes still focused on how her son’s head rested on Mrs. Katsuki’s stomach. The omega was serving herself a bowl of fruit, and Victor had somehow found a way to wedge himself in between the woman and the counter. 

“You’re a guest in the Katsuki Main House, Alpha Nikiforov. As the omega host I’m used to dealing with the children. I know there are pressing matters you need to discuss with my mate.” 

And there _were_ pressing matters that Alpha Nikiforov had to discuss with the omega’s mate. According to Katsuki intelligence, the Lee family based in South Korea was planning a hit on her mate. The Alpha had been furious when she found out, but not surprised. The Nikiforov family were renowned for utilizing hard power: business in drugs, hiring hitmen, blocking off shipments to other families. She had always known that it wouldn't take long for the Lee family to seek out revenge in any way possible. 

However, the state that her son was in left the alpha scratching her head. Victor was far too young to be presenting, and she was sure that he hadn’t eaten anything that could have made him sick. The alpha did have an idea of what the problem could be, but she knew that the chances of it being true were so slim that her mate would scold her for jumping to such a conclusion. 

“You’re correct Mrs. Katsuki. If you don’t mind, could I ask you for a favor?” 

“Go ahead, Alpha Nikiforov.” 

“Could we please set up a doctor’s appointment with your family’s doctor? I have a gut feeling that Victor’s actions aren’t normal, and I also think that you may need to be present.” 

The omega’s eyes widened as she slowly nodded her head. “Of course, Alpha Nikiforov. I’ll schedule an appointment with the doctor as soon as possible. Do you have any preferences as to time?” 

“Tonight would be the best option. We’ll be heading back to St. Petersburg midday tomorrow.” 

“Okay, Alpha Nikiforov. I’ll set it up right now.” 

The alpha made a sound of agreement as she turned around to head back into the meeting with Alpha Katsuki. She hesitated as she reached the doorframe, though. 

“Mrs. Katsuki?” 

“Yes, Alpha Nikiforov?” 

“I know that you and my mate are very close, but please refrain from telling him about what we’re setting up. We both know that he hasn’t been feeling very well lately, so I don’t want to add any stress to his life right now.” 

  
With that said, she exited the kitchen. 

\------------------------------

“Alpha Nikiforov, Omega Katsuki.” The doctor said in acknowledgment as he entered the exam room. “How can I be of service?” 

“Good evening, doctor.” Alpha Nikiforov said, taking a deep breath before continuing, “We wanted you to analyze my son’s behavior. We’ve observed some weird actions that are slightly concerning.” 

The boy in question was sitting on the edge of the exam bed, his small pale hand on Mrs. Katsuki’s bump. 

“Could you please explain the behavior for me?” 

The Alpha looked at Mrs. Katsuki, who tried her best to explain the odd incidents. “It began when Victor arrived this Monday. He told me that he had a small headache that was causing him pain, and the only that seemed to help him was when he laid his head on my baby bump. After that, he’s basically been following me around the house nonstop and even talks to the bump sometimes. At first, we thought he was just fascinated about the baby bump since Alpha Nikiforov pointed out that Victor had never seen a pregnant omega before. Now we don’t know what it is, especially because Victor is kind of going out of his way to protect me in a way.” 

“What exactly do you mean by ‘protect’ Mrs. Katsuki?” The doctor asked, making sure he was jotting down points about what she had stated before. 

“Well it’s silly things, really. This morning when I had served us both some fruit I was going to go sit in the dining room. I guess I didn’t notice the corner of the marble table when I was turning around, and Victor reached up to put his hand in between my stomach and the table.” 

The doctor hummed, eyeing Victor warily. “Anything else?” 

“Yes, but honestly it’s all become a blur in my mind, doctor. I just know that he seems determined to make sure nothing happens to this area.” The omega used her hand to motion to her torso. 

The doctor looked down at his notes before looking up to the two adults who were patiently waiting to hear any type of explanation. 

“I’m afraid that if my diagnosis is correct, the issue over my head.” The doctor said, addressing the both of them. “However, before I tell you my diagnosis I’d like to call one of my colleagues who specializes in pheromones. In my professional opinion, I think they should perform some preliminary tests on Victor here and then give us all some important insight.” 

“Doctor, how sure are you about this diagnosis?” Alpha Nikiforov asked as she paced slowly on her side of the exam room. The fact they were all thinking about the same diagnosis yet no one voiced it made the tension rise in the room. Even Victor felt it, scooting closer to Mrs. Katsuki. 

“I’m almost certain, Alpha Nikiforov.” 

“That means we should probably tell our mates, doesn’t it? It involves my baby, right?” The omega asked timidly. 

“Yes, and yes, Mrs. Katsuki. It should take my colleague around thirty minutes to arrive. Will that be enough time?” 

The two adults nodded at the same time, looking at each other with uncertainty. 

\------------------------------

The lower east wing of the Katsuki Mansion was where the medical facilities were located, and as the two pairs of mates made their way to the larger exam room, they tried their best to make small talk. But throughout their conversations about business affairs no one could avoid looking at Victor, who held Mrs. Katsuki’s hand and smiled unknowingly. He clearly had no idea what was going on, and everyone knew that if the diagnosis was true, Victor would be far too young to deal with the anguish. 

As they approached the sliding doors the guards moved to the side, allowing them in without hesitation. Two doctors waited on the other side, bowing respectfully at them before introducing themselves. 

“Good evening. My name is Dr. Nakamura and this is my colleague Dr. Suzuki, who specializes in pediatrics and pheromone conditions and disorders. I believe that she can provide important insight as to what is going on after performing some tests.” 

“I know these things take time, but I would appreciate it if we could jump into the tests. Alpha Nikiforov’s mate is not feeling too well at the moment.” 

“Of course, Alpha Katsuki. We’ve cleared the exam room and set it up. If you don’t mind, could we please take Mrs. Katsuki and Victor into the room only? You, Alpha Nikiforov, and Mr. Nikiforov are welcome to watch through the window in the gallery.” 

“If that’s what needs to be done then go ahead.” The alpha said after giving his mate a small kiss on the forehead. 

“Will we be needed at any time?” Victor’s mother asked, worried. 

“Yes, but only Alpha Katsuki at a later time.” Dr. Suzuki replied. 

“Okay.” 

\------------------------------

Victor felt anxious as he sat in front of the doctors who were asking him questions he felt made no sense. In the white room, there was only a metal table and three chairs, with an odd contraption that looked like a box resting on the table. After taking note of those things, the boy wondered why Mrs. Katsuki was standing in the corner by herself, eyes focused on the floor. 

“Victor, what does Mrs. Katsuki smell like to you?” 

“Smell?” 

“Yes, Victor. I understand that since you’re younger, things may not smell as strong. Can you try to focus on that scent for us though?”  
  


“Yeah, I… I can. Victor said as he closed his eyes. “Um… Mrs. Katsuki smells like a mom! But not my mom…” 

“Okay. Now, besides that scent, is there anything else you can smell?” Dr. Suzuki asked, giving the boy a reassuring smile. 

“Yeah, there is. But… makes my head feel fuzzy.” 

“Does it hurt?” 

“No… it makes me feel warm. Like mommy’s hugs!” 

“Okay, Victor. Now I want you to focus on Mrs. Katsuki for a few minutes, alright?” 

The boy did just that, playing with his hands for a bit as he watched Mrs. Katsuki. “Is… is she okay?” 

The doctor didn’t respond, only nodding at the omega, who slowly walked out of the room. 

“Where is she going?” 

Again, the doctor didn’t respond, jotting down notes as quickly as could. Victor stood up quickly, running towards the door. 

“Mrs. Katsuki! Can you please come back?” Victor yelled, but only the small echo of his voice responded. “Mom? Dad?” 

“Victor, can you please come back to the table? Mrs. Katsuki will come back if you do.” 

The boy didn’t hesitate as he ran and sat on the metal chair, his eyes wide with panic. 

Victor watched as she turned around gave a hand signal, but all he could think about in the moment was that he wanted the scent that made his head feel fuzzy around him again. 

The white door slowly opened, but this time Mrs. Katsuki was accompanied by someone. Victor felt a small growl leave his throat as he processed the situation in front of him. 

A person with a mask on stood next to Mrs. Katsuki, a knife in hand. 

“Mrs. Katsuki!” Victor yelled as he stood up, tears forming in his eyes. Another growl was building up, but this time was different. Victor felt helpless and looked to the doctor for help. “Doctor, c-can you tell this man… to stop?” 

“Please!” 

  
“Doctor, please!”

“Stop.” 

With that one word leaving Dr. Suzuki’s mouth, everyone froze. The man in the mask left the room, and Mrs. Katsuki walked towards Victor with a small smile on her face. Victor rushed to hug her, some tears escaping his eyes as she sat on the chair and pulled him onto her lap. 

“Did you get what you needed?” Mrs. Katsuki asked the doctor, who nodded, grabbed the medical device on the table, and left the room. After fifteen minutes, the two doctors returned to the room with everyone else in tow. Behind them, a couple of guards followed with extra chairs to place around the table. 

“Thank you for your patience.” With that said, Dr. Suzuki grabbed a few papers from the top of her pile and began to break down the results. 

“It is in both our professional opinions that Victor and Mrs. Katsuki’s unborn child are connected in a way. What we mean by connected is that it is very likely that they are true mates.” Both couples nodded, everyone clinging onto the doctor’s words. “However, it is extremely uncommon for mates to meet under these circumstances. Obviously, that is exactly what has occurred. The simulation involving Mrs. Katsuki and her mate as well as the questioning we just went through gave me an opportunity to analyze the pheromones Victor was emitting through the device, since pheromones in someone as young as him and who hasn’t presented are very hard to pick up. We compared those results to the only other case of this in Japan, and found that they were extremely similar.” 

All four parents were stunned into silence as they looked at each other, wondering what exactly this would entail. 

“I know that this can feel like a very sticky situation, but I just want to bring up the fact that you have many options.” 

  
“Explain.” Mr. Katsuki stated sternly, his arm wrapped around his mate’s waist. 

“The choice is up to you as parents, but you could either allow Victor to see Yuuri a couple times a year, or wait until you believe Mrs. Katsuki’s child is of age. If you choose the latter, I would recommend suppressants for Victor.” 

“Why is that?” 

“Since Victor has already met his true mate, I’m almost certain that his instincts won’t allow him to have intercourse with another with that in mind, even in rut. I could always be mistaken, but in the only other case of this in the country the alpha found themselves repulsed by the idea of taking another.” The doctor blushed slightly when she realized Victor was right there, hearing all of this. 

“It’s okay, Dr. Suzuki. I doubt he’s focused on anything except that bump right now.” Mr. Katsuki explained, his expression still stern as he continued, “Which choice would you recommend and why?” 

“I’d recommend having visits up until Victor presents. According to early pheromone testing that I reviewed in his medical file, he will most likely present as Alpha. Victor would be four years older than the child, so I also recommend strict parental supervision once Victor gets closer to presenting. I wouldn’t want the younger one in danger since alphas can be territorial.” 

“Of course. Well, I’m sure we’d all like some rest tonight in order to discuss this tomorrow morning. If there’s anything else we need to know, please don’t hesitate to tell Dr. Nakamura so he can relay the information to us.” 

“I will. I wish you all a good night.” Dr. Suzuki said as she stood up, shaking Mr. Katsuki’s hand before leaving. The four parents sat there for a moment as the door shut behind the doctor. 

“Well, fuck.”

\------------------------------

During their next meeting in the morning, it is abundantly clear that no one slept the previous night, bags under everyone’s eyes as they continued to discuss the future of their children. 

“Given the fact that we were considering arranging a marriage between the two already, this situation can’t be too horrid, right?” Mrs. Katsuki said, looking at her mate. She was trying to at least bring a morsel of help to the table.

“It isn’t that, dear. It’s the fact that this is going to be hell for Victor. For now, it won’t be bad. Once he presents, though, it’ll be very hard for him to accept the fact that his mate is all the way in Japan. Not to mention their age gap.” 

“I think that we should take things one step at a time.” Mr. Nikiforov added, his voice a little hoarse. “Victor is so young right now, and we should allow them to share innocent moments with Yuuri until he presents.” His mate nodded in agreement, shifting her chair closer to him. 

“Okay. We’ll keep in touch and arrange visits as soon as you’re ready then, alright?” Mr. Katsuki asked, looking at the pair. 

“Of course, Mr. Katsuki. Thank you for your hospitality and help. We’ll be heading to the airport now. Hopefully we’ll be able to come back with Victor and visit once you have the baby Mrs. Katsuki.”

“Alright, Alpha Nikiforov. Thank you for pushing to arrange the appointment. At least we know what we’re getting ourselves into. And Mr. Nikiforov, please stay safe and healthy.” Mrs. Katsuki said as they all stood up, ready to say goodbye. 

“I’ll have the guards escort you to your vehicle, Alpha Nikiforov.” 

\------------------------------

After visiting Japan for the first time, Victor is never the same. His behavior seems out of character to his parents, and even some of the elders in the family begin to believe that he may not be suited to inherit family responsibilities as an alpha. 

“Mr. Feltsman, my child is only 6 years old. With all due respect, I don’t think you can judge whether or not he will be a good leader at such a young age.” The omega felt anger running through his veins as he tried to defend his child, his alpha having gone on a trip to Japan with Victor. The dark-wood office felt suffocating, the scent of an angry alpha strong. 

“You know full well that that is not what I’m complaining about. I’m talking about the fact that at the age of 6 Victor is coming up to me, pointing at his heart, and telling me that it hurts. You and I know that he doesn’t suffer from any health issues so that doesn’t leave many other options for me to consider, does it? If you don’t tell me what is wrong with that kid right now Mr. Nikiforov, you may find yourself having to push out another fucking heir. Spill. And don’t even think about telling your Alpha about this conversation.” 

\------------------------------

**6 ; 2**

Victor felt overwhelmed. As soon as he had stepped into the nursery, the boy ran to the crib, a gasp escaping him as he took in the sight of the adorable boy resting in the middle. The scent the small child emitted made his head feel fuzzier than ever, and for once Victor didn’t feel an ache lingering in his chest. Yuuri’s inky hair contrasted against the lavender blankets around him, and Victor didn’t know whether he wanted to crush the two-year-old in a hug or gently hold him in his arms for the rest of his life. 

“Mommy!” He whispered, “Yuuri is so cute!” 

“I know, honey, I know. Now, just sit right here on this chair next to the crib and take care of him until he wakes up, okay?” The alpha asked, smiling as she took in the ecstatic expression on her child’s face. 

“Okay!” 

Victor felt he could sit there and stare for all of eternity. 

\------------------------------

**9 ; 5**

The first time he ever enters a shooting range, Victor feels like he can’t breathe. He wasn’t completely ignorant of the fact that his family did some shady things, but he wasn’t expecting to start shooting until he presented. For the past seven years, he had participated in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu as well as Japanese Jujutsu, but that was the extent of his experience with violence.

It was a silent affair, really. The guard posted at his door had knocked and said he was expected in the lounge in around 15 minutes. Although he was confused at first, the future alpha figured his mother needed to inform him about something important. 

That wasn’t the case, though, and he found himself aimlessly wandering behind his mother as she led them into a cold, cold room located in the lower west wing of the mansion. Soon, Victor realized that he was entering the shooting range his mother insisted on installing. A hand on the small of his back led him to a cubicle-like space, a gun on the white counter. His mother stood in the space next to him, shooting at her the target in front of her effortlessly. 

“Believe it or not there’s going to be many moments in your life where it’s either kill or be killed. Pick up the fucking gun and _aim._ ” 

“Mom I don’t kn-” 

“You’ve seen me shoot actual humans before, I’m sure you could figure it out. Victor, do you not realize that you have people to protect?” Alpha Nikiforov asked sharply, setting her own gun down on the counter, her gaze fixed on the target that Victor was supposed to be shooting at. “I don’t care if you’re nine years old. You aren’t in a normal life situation, and that’s where we’re the same, son. We’ve both been forced to grow up faster than others so that we can protect our family and those that we hold dear to us. In just three years you’ll be presenting and one day you’ll become the leader of the largest Russian Mafia. As the leader of the Nikiforov Family you’re going to have to kill and learn to live with yourself. You’re going to see your men hurt. You’re going to want to give up. You’re going to wake up screaming in the middle of the night remembering the blood on your hands. And you _will_ be alone if you don’t learn to fend for yourself and those you love.” 

The boy’s hands are shaking as he picks up the relatively small gun, trying his hardest to compose himself and stand straight. He vaguely recalls Yakov telling Yurio over dinner that the most important thing to remember when you first shoot is that the force of it can and _will_ throw you back. 

He pulls the trigger. 

It feels foreign. 

\------------------------------

**12 ; 8**

“Vitya! Look!” The small child yells, pointing to the tower of blocks beside him. “It’s almost as tall as me! Look, Vitya!” 

Victor felt a small chuckle escape him as he walked towards the eight year old. He sat on the bright carpet that depicted cars, patting Yuuri’s head as he praised him. 

“It’s beautiful, Yuuri. But you did spell your last name wro-” 

“Shhhhh, Vitya. That’s not nice…” Said the boy with a pout, not liking how he felt when Victor criticized him. 

“M’ sorry, Yuuri. Are you feeling tired?” 

The raven-haired boy didn’t reply, only resting his head on Victor’s arm. 

“Victor, is it true?” Yuuri’s usual cinnamon scent suddenly became citrusy, and Victor’s head sharply moved down to look at the future omega, recognizing the change.

“What are you talking about, Yuuri?” Victor asked as he threaded his fingers through the boy’s hair. The fact that there was no way he could release any calming pheromones at his age made him feel slightly helpless in this situation. 

“Dad said that you might not come next year…” Yuuri said, head moving so he could look into Victor’s eyes. 

“I won’t lie to you, Yuuri. I don’t know when I’m going to be able to come visit again… but it’s not because I don’t want to, I promise!” Victor rushed to explain as Yuuri’s eyes watered, the boy looking away as a tear rolled down his cheek. “Yuuri! Look at me, please. It’s just that the family doctor thinks I’ll be presenting this year, which means that I have to start learning more about the family business.” Victor refused to explain what presenting meant exactly, knowing full well that Yuuri was too young to even comprehend the importance of it. 

“Oh… okay, Vitya. So are you going to be like Mari?” 

“Yeah, I am. Just like how she’s going to be the leader for the Katsuki family in the future, I’m going to be doing the same job back in Russia for my family. That’s why you might see her in meetings with your dad and training and such a young age.” 

“Vitya, am I your family?” The boy asks with wide eyes, looking up to Victor expectantly. 

“Of course, Yuuri. You mean even more than family to me.” And Victor meant every word leaving his mouth, remembering what his mother had told him not more than two days ago: That he and Yuuri were true mates, and that one day he would have a relationship with Yuuri akin to the one she had with his father. 

At Victor’s words, Yuuri hops onto his lap, arms wrapped around his neck as he buries his face in the crook of his neck. Feeling tears soak through his shirt, and Victor pulls Yuuri closer, not wanting to let go. 

Both of them stay in that moment, silent tears falling. 

They don’t really know why they’re crying. 

\------------------------------

**15 ; 11**

“I can’t be the only one who thinks it’s ridiculous that he doesn’t even call me, right? I mean I’m going into seventh grade now, but I can’t even remember the fast time he called to just say hello.” 

Yuuri’s question comes out of nowhere during the family dinner, and even his parents are taken aback by the pained tone in the boy’s voice. It’s so out of character for the boy, given the fact that he’s usually soft-spoken. 

“I assume you’re talking about Victor?” Mari asks blunty, her face void of expression. 

“No, I’m talking about my other future husband I have. I just have so many of them, sorry I can’t keep track.” The sarcasm dripping from his words makes his parents frown deeply, both of them looking at each other in confusion. 

“Yuuri, calm down. We all know that Victor is busy right now. Do I need to remind you that he is the future leader of the Nikiforov Family?” His mother reminded him, her scent growing slightly distressed.  
  


“No you don’t _have_ to remind me, actually. But it would be nice if he could at least send a message every other day, you know? Maybe something like ‘Hey! I know I haven’t visited you since you were in diapers-’” 

“Yuuri.” The alpha at the table interrupted, “You were eight years old, not eight months old. I think it’s best for you to dismiss yourself from the table now before you say something you regret, don’t you think?” 

The boy stood up abruptly, glaring at his father before turning around to exit the dining room. But before he could even make it out the door, Yuuri froze at the sound of a booming voice. 

“ALPHA KATSUKI!” 

The man in question stood up from his spot at the head of the table instantly, his weapon drawn and eyes sharp. 

“Yuuri, sit down.” And the boy did, fear coursing through his veins. 

A couple seconds later Celestino, the alpha’s second-in-command, ran into the dining room, almost colliding with the table as he took in a deep breath. 

“What is it, Celestino?” The alpha asked, lowering his weapon but still eyeing their surroundings warily. 

“It’s… it’s the Nikiforovs.” 

“What. Happened.” His voice so deadly that even Mari was starting to smell of distress. 

“Alpha Nikiforov and her mate… th-they have been assassinated by the Lee Family, sir.”

After Celestino’s words, Yuuri can only hear his mother’s piercing wail.

\------------------------------ 

When Alpha Katsuki contacts Yakov Feltsman, the temporary leader of the Nikiforov Family, the man insists that the Katsukis must not attend the funeral due a plethora of safety issues. Although the Alpha is deeply saddened by the words, he found himself agreeing, not wanting his family to be in any danger. 

Yuuri is standing by his side throughout the conversation, waiting patiently for an opportunity to speak to Victor. His father had assured him that Victor was fine, but Yuuri knew that he would continue to feel extremely uneasy unless he heard the alpha’s voice. 

“Well, I know that Yuuri really wants to speak to Victor, Mr. Feltsman.” There’s a slight pause as Yuuri presumes Yakov is responding before his father passes him the phone. The alpha then leaves the room, his head hanging low until he reaches the door, straightening himself up. 

As he settles into his father’s seat, Yuuri feels like pressing the red button in a panic, but he can’t fathom leaving Victor alone with no one to talk to. Especially not now. Of course, he knew the Alpha had plenty of people to rely on like Yurio and Otabek, but both of them had always known that there was a different type of bond between the two of them. Even if Yuuri didn’t really know what to call it at times. In the rare instance that he asked Mari or his mother, he was always met with a blush and a whisper of “You’re too young, Yuuri. Later.” 

Yuuri wasn't completely clueless, though. There were some moments (although rare) where Yuuri found himself talking about Victor with Phichit after all. It didn't take long for them to put the pieces together and figure it out. 

His hand is shaky as he brings the home phone to his ear, taking in a deep breath before speaking. 

“Victor?”

\------------------------------ 

Victor can’t breathe. 

He’s sure he hasn’t inhaled since the moment he walked into his parent’s bedroom. 

Red. 

That was all Victor saw when he entered the master bedroom that morning. Crimson stained the white sheets on the bed, his mother sprawled on top of his father as if in her last moments all she could think of was protecting him. 

Red. 

Because that’s what was blurring the alpha’s vision as he was hit by a strong wave of anger and sadness when he saw the empty look in his dead mother’s eyes. No part of him was spared when he looked above the bed frame and recognized the square of silk pinned to the wall. 

It was almost as if the white-naped crane stained on the silk was mocking him, and the alpha couldn’t contain the shout of agony that escaped his lips as he fell onto his knees. It didn’t take long for Yurio’s face to appear before his, his blue eyes wide as he held onto Victor’s shoulders, urging him to breathe in. Otabek’s panicked scent soon joined Yurio’s, but it wasn’t until Yakov ran into the room that Victor slowly came to his senses. The man in question didn’t hesitate to approach the shocked alpha, his hands roughly pulling him up. 

“Otabek, Yurio.” Their heads snapped up, looking at the Beta who was now in charge intently before he continued, “Take Victor to his room and do your best to calm him down, he’s seen enough. The Lee family will pay for this.” 

The sole tear falling down Yakov’s face betrays his cold demeanor. 

\------------------------------ 

“Yuuri?” 

There’s a moment of silence between the two of them, Yuuri’s eyes watering slightly. He can’t explain it, but Victor’s sadness is slowly becoming his own, the weight of it sitting on his chest. 

“I’m sorry,” Yuuri says simply, feeling at a loss for words. “I really, really wish I was there for you. But I know that you have loved ones who are going to be there for you.” The boy can’t help but feel a bit childish at the thought of _him_ of all people giving _Victor_ comfort. He hasn't even presented, much less gone through the things Victor’s has these past few days. 

“You never have to apologize, Yuuri.” His voice is deep and scratchy, and Yuuri is sure that the other is tired. “I’m sorry I haven’t called in so long, so much has been going on right now that it’s overwhelming. It feels like I haven’t had a second to spare.”

“It’s okay.” It isn’t, but the younger one is sure that this isn’t really the time to discuss the problems between them. 

“It really isn’t, Yuuri. I promise I’ll try and call more often, regardless of whether or not things become crazier. You’re my ma-” Victor cuts himself off sharply, coughing, but Yuuri quickly notices the slip-up. 

“What?” 

  
“Yuuri I’m no-” 

  
“Can you please just finish your sentence?” Yuuri snaps, completely unaware of his own tone. 

“Yuuri, you’re not even letting me finish my senten-” 

“Because you’re not finishing the one that I want you to finish, maybe that’s why I’m cutting you off!” Yuuri’s voice is rising now, his face feeling hot as his grip on the phone tightens. 

“Yuuri, can you please calm down?” But Victor’s tone is akin to the tone of a person giving a command, and the boy doesn’t hesitate to comment. 

“Are you ordering me around now? Are you telling me you’d be calm if you were me right now?” Now the sadness that was settled in his chest is replaced with hot anger, and Yuuri can’t even tell if the anger is his or Victor’s or both of theirs. 

“I am **not** ordering you around, Yuuri. If you want to keep being this complicated I can, though!” Victor’s voice is unwavering, and Yuuri can practically see the other boy’s chest puffing. 

“I am **not** being complicated! You are, you absolute idio-” 

“Don’t even _think_ about finishing that if you want to stay on this lin-” 

“Do you think I _care?_ ” Yuuri is laughing now, “You haven’t even visited me in actually years, haven’t ever called me until today and you think I’m going to… going to what? Miss you? Cry? I think the funniest part of all of this is that you think I don’t know, huh?” 

“Yuuri you don’t even know what you’re talking about.” Victor’s voice isn’t as loud now, but Yuuri feels his anger all the same. 

“How stupid do you think I am? I really want to know, Victor.” 

“I don’t think you’re stupid, Yuuri.” 

“Then why are you acting like I don’t randomly see through your eyes for seconds at a time? Why are you acting like I don’t feel your emotions even though I’m thousands of miles away from you?” The raven is on his feet now, his seat long forgotten. 

“Mate.”

“What?” 

“Well you wanted me to finish my sentence, didn’t you?” The alpha spits out, and Yuuri finds himself unable to focus on Victor’s tone一or rather, he doesn’t _want_ to focus on it. 

“You say it like it’s a death sentence.” Yuuri says, only feeling hollow now, his anger having burnt his inner body to ashes that he now feels he chokes on. He feels the hot tears on his cheeks, a slight anxiety crawling under his skin. 

“Maybe it is.”

Yuuri hangs up. 

\------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! As always, comments fuel me :) Stay safe, and remember that I'm always happy to reply to ANY questions/concerns you may have about the story <3 I love interacting with all of you (and I just made a new twitter account for writing) so pls don't hesitate if you want to chat!
> 
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/scwriting_)
> 
> [my cc](https://curiouscat.me/scwriting_)


	2. Burning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor just wants things to be okay between him and Yuuri.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ 
> 
> Hello! I hope you're all safe and doing well :) This chapter was meant to be v e r y long but I'm currently going through medical issues that don't allow me to sit or stand >:( I use my laptop to write so it's hell trying to write anything. I've been trying to hold off updating until I recover so I can deliver a longer chapter, but it's been so long since I updated and I feel horrible :( That being said, I've decided to post what I had written before I got hurt. I hope you all understand, and please remember that this chapter ending may seem a bit odd. I just didn't want to write a rushed ending right now because then I wouldn't be posting writing that is the best quality possible. I also hope this doesn't discourage anyone from reading future updates, but I understand if it does <3

“Victor, there’s something we need to talk about..” 

The silver-haired boy’s head sharply shifted to look at his mother, concern in his eyes. The woman’s gaze was pensive as she rested her chin on one hand, the other hand resting on the dark oak desk. 

“Are you okay?” The question rolled off the boy’s tongue naturally, his eyes scanning his mother quickly, looking for any signs that something was out of place. They were in her office, Victor working on memorizing positions in the family while his mother focused on fixing the shipments of cocaine that seemed to be delayed. The silence between them was something sacred in these moments, which made Victor even more curious as to the alpha’s intention to break it. 

“No, no, Victor. Don’t worry, it’s nothing like that. I’m fine.” The alpha put up a strained smile to reassure the boy. It caught his attention, his striking eyes focused on the other’s and his body responding to the scent of uneasiness in the room.

“What do we need to talk about then?” Victor asked as he moved his papers to the side, his foot tapping on the hardwood floor. 

“We haven’t really talked about you presenting, Victor.” His mother said softly. 

“Well, I presented an alpha, if the three days of hell were anything to go by.” A chuckle escaped the woman at her son’s description of rut before the boy continued. “That means that I’m officially the heir to the family. There isn’t much to talk about.” 

“I suppose that in a normal situation there wouldn’t be much to talk about. But don’t think that I haven’t noticed you avoiding a certain topic.” Victor’s mother tucked a strand of her own silver hair behind her ear. “You’ve been avoiding Yuuri, Victor.” 

At his mother’s words, Victor slouched back into his seat with his head hanging low. “Please don’t start with this,” the fifteen-year-old complained. His mother’s eyes narrowed before her familiar scent of anger replaced the softness and uneasiness. 

“Victor. Sit up right now. We _are_ going to start with this and you’re going to tell me what the hell is going on.” 

“What happened to your nice mother charade that you were just pulling?”

“What happened to the supposed alpha you were just saying you were?” The woman shot back, leaning forward, almost challenging the boy to respond. 

“Okay, okay.” Victor huffed, a hand running through his hair. “It’s hard, okay? I mean, it was easy when we were younger and I was able to visit Japan often, but then things got real. I had to train more often, and suddenly I wasn’t a kid anymore, you know? Yes, I’m not an adult yet but Yuuri is four years younger than me. There wouldn’t be much to talk about anyways.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous. You haven’t even tried to talk to him.” 

“I just _know._ And I don’t want things to get awkward between us when we haven’t even started… you know…” 

“No, I don’t know, actually.” 

Victor groaned, “Living together! Doing what mates do. I don’t want to mess things up before they even begin.” 

“Are you implying that you’re just never going to talk to him until he moves here?” The alpha across the boy asked, an eyebrow raised. “Because I can assure you that if you put Yuuri through years of constant rejection, the only thing you’ll succeed in doing is making him resent you. And that’s not even taking into account the fact that he’s going to go through hormonal changes. Take it from an alpha who has an omega mate, Victor. He’ll hate you.” 

  
  


\------------------------------ 

**_He’ll hate you._ **

As always, Victor’s mother was right. 

\------------------------------ 

**17 ; 13**

“He’s going to be presenting in around two years, I mean the kid is turning fourteen soon, right? He’ll have to move in eventually anyways.” 

“First of all, I have no idea why you’re bringing that up. I told you that Yuuri is coming here to St. Petersburg to visit, and you’re not the head of the family right now. I am. And that means that what I say goes, alright?” Yakov reprimanded, and Victor could only nod. Power was power, and although he was an heir, the alpha knew where he stood. Yakov was the acting Pakhan, and Victor was still just an heir waiting to turn 18. “Second of all, Yuuri isn’t ‘kid’ to you, eh? He’s your fucking mate. Act like it for once. His parents may seem kind on the surface, but they won’t hesitate to sever ties with us, regardless of whether you guys are true mates.” 

“I highly doubt that.” Victor said. 

“Well, you seem to be doing fine without him. Ever since your disagreement on the day your parents died you only call on special occasions. Not once have you invited him here. For fuck’s sake Victor! I had to arrange this visit last minute on your behalf to at least show the Katsukis that you’re interested.” Yakov is standing now, leaning forward to put a hand on the very same dark oak desk his mother would lean on. 

Victor stands as well, his stance imposing as he replies. “I’m loyal to Yuuri, regardless of whether our bond is weak. When have you seen me with anyone else? The Katsuki Family should have no reason to believe I’m not interested.” 

“Loyal you may be, but you sure aren’t being fond or kind.” 

“Oh so now there’s room for kindness and fondness in a future Pakhan’s heart? Because I recall you telling me something very different when I was younger, Yakov.” At Victor’s words they both slowly inch back into their seats, the beta clearly thinking of what to say. 

“Well, if you really hate him that much, Victor, then you should jus-” 

“Gods above, that is _not_ what I’m trying to tell you.” The alpha says, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose before sighing deeply. 

“Then what are you trying to say?” Yakov asks, his tone as exasperated as Victor’s. 

“I lost him, Yakov. Okay? I was shitty, didn’t check up on him when I was younger, and now he resents me. I don’t blame him, but forgive me for wanting to avoid our awkward bond for a couple more years. And even if I did want to make things right, he’s fucking thirteen years old. That would be weird.” 

“Why are you acting like the only important aspect of a relationship is the romantic part? Build a fucking foundation first, idiot. The two of you hardly know each other. Take advantage of the time you’ll have together when he comes over. Because he _is_ coming to visit, whether you like it or not.” The beta sighs before giving the young alpha a pointed look. “And don’t _ever_ make me talk to you about relationships again.” 

\------------------------------ 

When Yuuri visits the Nikiforov Mansion, it’s hard for anyone to believe anything Victor had said about the boy before. Sure, he was a shy individual, but his manners were impeccable and his Russian was acceptable. If he didn’t know a family custom, he didn’t hesitate to ask, and not once did he ever complain about anything. 

At the dinner table he’s dressed in a light pink blouse, his loose white pants complimenting him as well. The entire Nikiforov Family surrounds the fated couple around the table, as per custom during family dinners. Victor is seated next to Yuuri, the tension in both of their postures obvious to the adults that watch them with critical eyes. 

Victor isn’t sure whether Yuuri’s mask is something to celebrate, but the future omega’s mannerisms are certainly surprising. As they make their way through appetizers, the young boy is nodding attentively at the stories some elders tell, humming in agreement. A few laughs even escape him as the main courses are served, and he doesn’t hesitate to softly lay a hand on Victor’s shoulder as if supporting himself. 

His small gestures don’t go unnoticed, Yurio’s beady gaze focused on the raven. 

“You can stop acting like you care about Yakov’s stories now, Yuuri.” The blonde omega snaps, a steak knife in his hand. 

The silence that falls upon the table is deafening, Yakov’s head snapping to look at Yurio, his eyes daring the omega to say another word. 

“What? Are we just going to put up with his act for the next week? Victor hasn’t even talked to him at all in the past d-” 

“How about you watch your mouth?” Victor’s tone is as venomous as the blonde’s, his voice steady. 

“Oh, so now I can’t question the behavior of someone who is going to be part of our family one day?” 

“No.” The alpha replies bluntly, taking a sip from his glass before continuing. “Know your fucking place.” 

Yurio can only glare at the silver-haired alpha before turning his head to look at Yuuri. There's a few more minutes of silence in the room, only the clinking of utensils providing any sort of background noise. 

“You know, Victor would always tell us the best stories about you.” Yurio is smiling as he says the words, resting his chin on his hand. Lilia chides his table manners but the blonde ignores her in favor of waiting for Yuuri’s reply. 

“Really?” And Yuuri tries his best to avoid sounding hopeful, doesn’t want to fall into another one of Yurio’s traps. The alpha next to him tenses even more than what he thinks is humanly possible. 

“Yes, always told us about how much of a _bitch_ you wer-” 

“I’m sure Otabek thinks the same of you.” Yuuri cuts the omega off, an equally threatening smile on his face as he watches Yurio turn red. The raven stands up abruptly, leaning across the table to deliver his final blow. “He must have horrible taste.” 

“Oh you have no idea what you’re talking ab-” 

“If you don’t mind, I have no interest in talking to omegas like you.” But the omega across from Yuuri is only glaring at him with hatred in his eyes, not indulging him with an answer. “If you all don’t mind, I’m going to excuse myself.” Victor stands as well, a stoic expression on his face as he offers his hand to Yuuri. 

He takes it as the alpha leads them out of the dining room. Once the golden doors behind them close, he pulls his hand away from Victor’s as if electrocuted. 

“Yuuri, about what he said…” He looks at the future omega longingly, but he’s only met with a blank face. They stay standing there, Victor at a loss for words. 

“You’re pathetic.” There are tears welling up in Yuuri’s eyes as he says the words to the alpha, and the weight of Yuuri’s disappointment is heavy on the alpha’s chest as he watches him walk away. Victor rushes to catch up to him, almost slipping on the marble floor. 

“Please, Yuuri. We’re soulmates. I want things to be good between us.” 

“You love to bring that up don’t you? But you don’t even want me to be here. What kind of mate does that make you? You don’t even defend me when some member of your family is calling me a _bitch_ as if he knows anything about me, as if anyone in this damn family knows anything about me. How many times have you called me in the past four years? How many times have you talked to me since I’ve gotten here? You don’t even know how humiliating it was for me when my mother pulled me aside a couple of days before I came here and taught me how to defend myself with a sharp tongue because even _she_ knew that you’d never defend me unless your honor was on the line too. ” Yuuri is furious now, tears falling. “I hate you. There are unpresented boys _my_ age that are at my doorstep begging to be my partners who I’d choose over you in a heartbeat. So stop acting like you care, because you don’t. Russian bosses never care about their mates, all they are to your kind are human shields to use when your life is on the li-” 

“That’s enough.” And although there’s an air of finality to Victor’s voice, the alpha continues. “I can’t go back in time and fix the things that you’re so angry about, Yuuri. But I’m promising to not take you for granted _now._ You’re so young, and I don’t want you to hold this resentment in your heart. I want to make it up to you before we strain our bond and damage it forever.” 

Yuuri listens to the alpha intently, looking at him warily. “That’s not how bonds work.” 

“You know what I mean.” 

“Give me your phone.” The raven says softly, wiping his tears with the back of his hand. 

Desperate to please the younger one, Victor almost rips his jacket’s pocket in an attempt to grasp the phone. He unlocks it before passing it to Yuuri, who opens up messages hesitantly, texting himself. 

“For emergency purposes.” Is all Yuuri says as he passes the phone back to Victor. The alpha can’t quite decipher the look on the younger boy’s face, choosing to just be grateful that Yuuri isn’t yelling at him anymore. 

“Right.” Victor says as he takes the phone, looking up at Yuuri, an awkward smile on his face. They stand there for a few moments before a voice startles the both of them. 

“No sexting, lovebirds.” A boisterous laugh follows Georgi’s words as he takes in the other two’s scared expressions. 

“Fucking hell, Georgi.” Victor says, exasperated. Yuuri blushes at the compromised position they’re in, Victor having pulled Yuuri close to him in a split-second decision to protect him. The future omega pulls away from the alpha slowly, throwing Victor a questioning look before resting his gaze onto the beta before them. 

“Care to explain why this person literally came out of nowhere?” The raven asks. 

“Forgive me, Yuuri.” Georgi says, suddenly serious as he takes in Victor’s deadly glare. “I’m Georgi. One of Victor’s future spies. Don’t worry, though! I wasn’t listening to anything until the phone was pulled out.” The beta explains as he points towards the dark hallway across from the main living room. 

“Russian spies.” Yuuri huffs angrily, turning on his heel to walk towards his room. At the sound of Victor’s footsteps the boy raises his hand without even looking back. “Don’t even think about following me.” 

Victor forces himself to stop following the boy despite his instincts screaming at him. He turns to Georgi, walking up to the beta to slap the back of the other’s head. 

“We were talking for the first time in ages, you absolute _idiot._ ” Victor mutters through clenched teeth. Even though Yuuri and him hadn’t even begun to tackle the major complications between them, they weren’t completely at each other’s necks for what was a few seconds, which was an accomplishment. 

“Well, who knows what would’ve happened if I hadn’t stepped in. You know, teenagers these days are absolutely wild. I mean, just look at what Anya did to me whe-” 

“Georgi! He’s a literal child. Please don’t finish your sentence.” Victor runs a hand through his hair with a sigh. 

“You guys are soulmates, though.” Georgi says with a frown on his face. “You’re telling me you don’t plan to mate with him until you’re…” The beta’s eyebrows are furrowed as he uses his fingers to count. “Twenty-two?!?” 

  
“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.” Victor replies coolly. 

“Are you just acting dumb now? That kid is going to present and you’re just going to ignore him?” The beta is clueless as he takes a step closer to the alpha, his arms crossed. Victor is silent, not really knowing how to reply to the beta’s question. “There’s a whole law people created enforced in almost every country to make sure soulmates aren’t punished for their age differences and you’re going to turn your head… you two are something else.”

“I’m sorry I don’t want to mate a minor.” Victor says, his tone flat. “I can’t believe I’m even talking to _you_ about mating.” 

“So you’re just going to let some other alpha his age help him through it?” 

“If that’s what he wants.” Victor replies honestly, looking longingly towards the direction in which Yuuri left. He had never really given it much thought, but he knew that he never wanted to take advantage of the younger boy. He was the older one, and he felt it was his responsibility to respect the other, even if the law was on their side. When he went into rut for the first time, he made the decision to get through that and all his other ruts on his own, but he wasn’t going to impose that same decision onto his mate. 

“You’re going to be the world’s oldest alpha virgin.” Georgi says with another giggle, ducking when Victor moves to flick his forehead. 

“Shut up.”

\------------------------------ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter! As always, comments fuel me :) Stay safe! 
> 
> (I'm expected to be okay in the next week, so the next update should be posted in the next two weeks. I'm so excited, so much drama is coming up in the next chapter...)
> 
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/scwriting_)
> 
> [my cc](https://curiouscat.me/scwriting_)


	3. Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri's pain is inexplicable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I'd just like two say a few very important things :) First off, I'd like to thank everyone for reading this work <3 I also want to give an even bigger thank you to those who have taken the time to leave a comment (I swear I reread them so many times that I have them memorized). Secondly, please take note of the tags that have been added to this work! The last thing I want is for someone to be triggered or upset. Lastly, I initially thought that this work was going to go down the "dramatic" road, but it's clear to me that this work is actually more intense now, and deals with sensitive topics. Please take note of that <3 Thank you!

**17 ; 13**

After confronting Victor, Yuuri’s remaining days at the Nikiforov Mansion are days full of tension. Even Yuuri’s own guards who traveled with him are wary of uttering a simple good morning, scared that the future omega could snap at any moment. 

Although the vicious words exchanged at the dinner between Yuuri and Yuri were only among the most important elders and members of the Nikiforov Family, it didn’t take long for the staff and other members to get word of what had occurred. This was clear to the raven the day after, when whispering between staff members would stop abruptly as he walked by. 

But now, three days after the infamous dinner, the maids avert their gaze as he passes by them, some even bowing deeply. It doesn’t bother the future omega as much as he thought it would, given that there weren’t many maids or extra personnel living in his house back in Japan. Yuuri just smiles and nods in acknowledgment every time he spots a person bowing, his hands pressed together in front of him. 

It’s a mask, of course. Yuuri wants nothing more than to go home and escape from this strange, extravagant mansion filled with unfamiliar faces and scents. It also doesn’t help that the gold adorned furniture and white marble floors remind him of Victor. 

Someone he doesn’t really want to think about. 

Yet he can’t help it, especially because of his close proximity to the alpha. When they were thousands of miles apart, it was easy to ignore the pain of their already weak bond. Now, Yuuri’s instincts are screaming at him to reach out to Victor, to heal what’s been broken. But Yuuri knows that he won’t be the one making the first move. 

His mother had told him that Victor was responsible for initiating conversations regarding their bond, and Yuuri wasn’t going to disregard that. 

As he reaches the main living room with his two bodyguards, he turns sharply to look at the guard on his left, Ren, who doesn’t even flinch at the unexpected movement, already used to the raven’s antics. 

“Ren, I’d like to go to the garden on my own if you don’t mind.” Yuuri says, and the guard groans. 

“We’re to keep a close eye on you Yuuri, you know how your mother feels about you being here. Perhaps if Victor accompanies you we can make arrangements?” He suggests, the other guard nodding in agreement. 

“You both always give me that option like I’m going to take it.” 

“ _Please,_ Yuuri. We were both almost fired when you ran off by yourself in the garden back home, remember?” 

“I told you I was going off to the garden for a walk!” Yuuri pouts, trying in vain to defend himself. 

“You _whispered_ it and then disappeared!” The beta exclaims, a hand running through his hair. 

“Everything okay?” A voice interrupts, and now Yuuri is groaning, turning towards the familiar voice. His eyes meet Victor’s own, but the urge to avert his gaze is too strong. The future omega looks away, silent. 

“Would you like to accompany Yuuri, Mr. Nikiforov? I’m afraid he’s not allowed to go on his own and it seems that our company is not being well-received.” Ren says bluntly, ignoring Yuuri’s frustrated huff. 

Victor seems slightly surprised at first, not expecting the usually stoic guards to ask him to take care of Yuuri. 

“It would be an honor.” The alpha says after quickly composing himself, his hand reaching out for Yuuri. 

“An honor that you’re not going to experience.” Yuuri quips, already turning around to walk back to his room. He can feel his anxiety building up at the thought of Victor confronting him, can feel his mask slipping off. A gentle hand is on his shoulder, but Yuuri shrugs it off. 

Victor panics, deciding to run in front of Yuuri, effectively stopping the raven from moving forward. 

“Please.” Is all the alpha says, his eyes pleading. 

Yuuri takes a deep breath in, trying his best to keep the damn _mask_ on because it’s almost becoming unbearable. His palms are clammy, the room around him only shrinking as if its only purpose is to engulf him in darkness. 

“Leave us.” Victor’s voice is distant, Yuuri only being able to focus on the fact that he feels like he can’t breathe. “Yuuri, I’m right here. Focus on me, okay?” And for the first time in years, Yuuri can sense emotions that aren’t his. There’s an unfamiliar panic, but also a pool of calmness that the raven is drawn to immediately, desperate to feel the same way. 

“What do you need, Yuuri?” The distant voice asks, and Yuuri replies, his speech slurred. 

_“Outside.”_

Yuuri feels detached from himself, almost as if he’s looking at himself from a third-person perspective when warm hands wrap around the back of his knees, an arm supporting his lower back. The sun is blinding, distracting him for a short moment. It doesn’t take long for Yuuri to hear the familiar stream of water coming from his only source of comfort in this unfamiliar mansion: the koi pond. 

It’s universally agreed among the staff of the house and the members of the Nikiforov family that this secluded area within the garden is Yuuri’s. Victor’s mother made that clear the day she revealed her plan to construct the large, breathtaking pond. Doe-eyed and clueless, Yuuri had no idea why the alpha had decided to go out of her way for him at first. She had mentioned the construction of the pond on one of her visits to Japan, and Yuuri had simply thanked her profusely before moving onto a different topic in their conversation. 

On the first day of his visit, though, the reasoning behind the pond all came together for the future omega. This pond was the only remnant of home that would follow him when he’d begin his life in Russia. The area was the only place where he wouldn’t have to worry about prying eyes. 

It was the only place where he could be Katsuki Yuuri. 

_“Near.”_

_“What?”_

_“Put… put me near.”_

Victor rushed to place Yuuri on the wooden bench adorned with small engravings, his expression still worried as he eyed Yuuri, wondering if he should call an adult or a doctor. He didn’t want to upset the raven, though, fully aware of the fact that even he was pushing his luck by being in Yuuri’s secluded area to begin with. The alpha couldn’t find it within himself to leave Yuuri alone anyways, especially when his mate was in such a vulnerable position.

“I can’t reach.” A sob escaped Yuuri as he said the words, his arm extended forward but not quite touching water. Improvising, Victor lifted the boy to put him on the flat, smooth stone that surrounded the clear water. He gently grasped the boy’s wrist to pull it into the water, his urges screaming at him to do _anything_ to end the constant panic that Yuuri was emitting from his side of the bond. 

“Do you feel the water now, Yuuri?” And the raven could only frantically nod, small sobs still leaving him as Victor rubbed his back with his unoccupied hand, wanting to offer at least _some_ comfort. “I need you to take some deep breaths now, Yuuri. Okay?” 

Yuuri tried his best to copy the rhythm of Victor’s breaths, to focus on the water that ran through his fingers, to remind himself that he was _here,_ in this moment with someone who cared about him. But it was right when he felt his breathing was under control that the feeling of shame and humiliation hit him. 

_“I don’t belong here.”_

Yuuri’s gut-wrenching cries following his own vague words sent a tremor through the alpha, who found himself frozen, unable to construct a coherent response. He could only try his best to release calming pheromones, to try and find calmness within himself in order to not stress Yuuri further. Although their bond was still relatively weak, Victor didn’t want to risk alarming the other by not keeping his own emotions in check. 

_“Please,_ **_please_ ** _take me home. Y-You have to let me leave early, please.”_

Yuuri turned to Victor as he said the words, his wet hand grasping the alpha’s shoulder desperately. Victor could feel the dam of emotions within him breaking, the hot tears falling down his face as he slowly nodded. He wanted Yuuri to be happy, and it was clear that the omega wouldn’t be finding his happiness with Victor anytime soon. 

The alpha shakily reached for the hand Yuuri was using to hold on his shoulder. 

He pressed the back of his soulmate’s hand to his lips, kissing the smooth skin as Yuuri looked at him, his vision blurry. 

It was then that the alpha made up his mind. 

There wasn’t a single thing that Victor wouldn’t do for his mate.

There wasn’t a limit for the amount of time he would wait. 

There wasn’t a day that Victor didn’t regret neglecting his other half. 

Yet Victor let Yuuri go. 

\------------------------------ 

**20 ; 16**

A boy with black hair and sultry looks comes into Yuuri’s life unannounced. 

His gaze is intense from across the room, and Yuuri finds himself at a loss for words when the alpha begins to approach him. 

They’re at a formal dinner with other families in attendance, something that’s routine for the Katsuki Family. Although the family dealt in selling sensitive information under the table (which was a sure way of destroying a rich family’s image), Mari took it upon herself to host dinners in Hasetsu so they can remain on good terms with other powerful families in Japan. When that wasn’t possible, though, they were forced into unfavorable positions like these, where they had to leave their home turf and enter Tokyo to maintain appearances. 

The dinners and charity events are usually a period of extreme boredom for Yuuri, but as the other kisses the back of hand, he realizes that maybe they can be quite entertaining. 

There’s a blush dusting the raven’s cheeks as he nods his head, acknowledging the other. 

“I’m Jiwon.” The alpha says, a small smile on his face as he takes in Yuuri’s slightly shocked expression. He looks to be the same age as Yuuri (it wasn’t uncommon for someone his age to approach him at these events), but the Korean name immediately made the omega hesitate, remembering his parents’ warning of the Lee family. The other picked up on this, pulling the sleeve of his blazer to expose his forearm. To his relief, Yuuri takes note of the unmarked skin, indicating that the alpha wasn’t affiliated with any crime families, making it likely he belonged to an old money family. 

“I’m Yuuri.” The omega introduces himself. For a moment he thinks of Victor and the fact that the alpha thousands of miles away from him has and _can_ see through his eyes. The guilt washes over him for a few seconds, souring his scent. But then he remembers that it’s not as if the alpha cared about him when he cried himself to sleep for years, he had simply repressed their bond and ignored him. Ever since Yuuri visited Russia, the alpha sent him polite messages on a monthly basis, but Yuuri never replied with more than ten words. When Victor suggested a call, Yuuri declined, not wanting to even give the alpha a chance to turn their already shaky relationship into something _more._

 _‘Victor can just repress the bond for another night’_ Yuuri thought, looking into Jiwon's eyes. 

“Don’t worry, you don’t have to introduce yourself. Everyone knows the Katsuki Family.” Jiwon says to fill the awkward silence between them, and Yuuri isn’t quite sure what to make of his slightly _too_ serious personality. “Want to go somewhere more quiet?” Asks the alpha, and Yuuri nods. 

He’s sure that his lack of experience is showing as they maintain a small conversation in the empty lounge that the alpha led him into, exchanging flirty lines and heated glances. Yuuri was always wary of the fact that he was what his doctors considered a _late bloomer,_ someone who developed their scent of alpha or omega without having gone into rut or heat, but the alpha before him doesn’t seem to mind, only smiling at the sound of his voice. 

The family guards are nowhere to be seen, probably focused on Mari and his father, who were in more danger at these types of events than he was. He’s also aware of the fact that he should thank Mari for not assigning him personal guards during this trip. It makes it easier for them to escape the prying eyes of other prominent families who’d probably pay their weight in gold to see Yuuri get involved in yet another scandal as a teenager. His slightly rebellious phase had gotten the Katsuki Family quite the attention from the press, and more eyes meant more possible witnesses who would have no problem telling some random columnist what he was up to. 

Eventually their lips are pressed together, a small, nervous laugh coming from the omega as Jiwon beckons him towards the elevator, towards him. The raven steps into the opulent golden elevator, his hands shaking. 

Yuuri bleeds that night. 

\------------------------------ 

Victor groans at the sound of familiar footsteps, his head hanging low as the door to his office is opened by a certain blonde omega. Yurio is fuming as he stomps in, walking up to the desk and not hesitating to throw a magazine onto his desk with far more force than necessary. 

The sharp sound that resonates throughout the room causes the alpha to snap his head up, sending Yurio a glare that the omega doesn’t mind returning. 

“Look at the cover.” Yurio demands, plopping onto the chair in front of the Pakhan’s desk. 

  
“No.” 

“Look at it right now, Victor. We’re in deep shit and I’m not going to be the one to have to figure it all out by myself while you just run away from it like last time.” The omega’s words hold an air of finality to them, and Victor's gaze slowly moves to the magazine. For a few seconds he doesn’t really feel anything, but the burning jealousy doesn’t take long to fester in his mind. 

Yuuri is kissing someone, with the face of the other person conveniently blurred to play into the eye-catching title. 

**_‘Who is Katsuki Yuuri’s mystery man?’_ **

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.” Victor says, releasing a deep sigh before turning the first couple of pages, searching for an article. 

  
  


**_‘Who is Katsuki Yuuri’s mystery man?’_ **

**_That’s the question on all of our minds! The Katsuki Family is nothing short of royalty in Japan, so who can blame us for wondering? Sadly, it seems that the rumors of a courtship with an unknown alpha located in Russia has been broken, and this picture is_ ** **_definitely_** **_the proof. Although we here at Weekly Aera can’t disclose where we get our hottest gossip from, we can tell you that there are witnesses claiming to have seen the newly-found couple leave a fancy event together (spicy, we know). If you’re curious about this development, keep an eye out for our magazines! We’re sure that the next breaking story about our favorite shy (maybe not so much anymore) omega Katsuki Yuuri will be worthy of the front cover ;)_ **

“He’s sixteen.” Is all Victor says, feeling his eyes water at the overwhelming amount of emotions hitting him at once. Part of him is angry, angry that someone else could make Yuuri happy when he himself couldn’t after having the opportunity to do so throughout so many years. But those thoughts are quickly overpowered by his instincts, which urge him to _protect_ Yuuri, to shield him from the press. 

“If you want to help him, you better tell me who the hell that is.” 

“I don’t know.” 

“You don’t know?” Yurio scoffs, snatching the magazine to stare at the front cover as if the pixels will rearrange themselves magically. “You’re true mates, intense feelings are felt through the bond, and if what we’re both thinking is true and they… did _it,_ you would have to have seen through his eyes at least once. So don’t lie to me because I know more about true mates than you may think. I did all that stupid research after you scared him away the last time he visited.” 

“Yurio.” And now Victor is serious, effectively wiping the scowl off of the omega’s face. “Our bond is broken. I won’t lie to you, I felt some of Yuuri’s emotions last night and I did see through his eyes once, but I suppressed the bond as soon as I saw what I saw. I… I had to respect his privacy, and I couldn’t really bring myself to confront the fact that he found someone else.” 

“Suppressing a bond?” The omega’s eyes were wide as he took in Victor’s words before shaking his head. “We’ll talk about that another day, I’m sure you know how damaging that is already. You _need_ to tell me what you saw Victor.” 

“I only saw the back of whoever Yuuri was with. I think they were getting into an elevator, but I’m not really sure… I just suppressed the bond for the night when I saw it. Before that, one of Yuuri’s thoughts echoed that he wanted me to do that so I didn’t really question it. I ask him to do the same when I’m going to enter a rut so I thought I’d sound like an asshole if I refused to do the same for him.” 

“Victor this,” The omega pointed at the article, “isn’t the same thing. This is him purposefully messing with some alpha because he refuses to talk to you. And it’s more than this! This fucking article isn’t even the tip of the iceberg because Yuuri went into _heat_ Victor. He went into _heat_ and Mari lost her shit because they followed his scent that led them to some random hotel room where he was with some random alpha and they won’t even tell me who the hell it is when they know damn well that this can be used against us.” 

  
“Heat?” Victor asked, but he didn’t bother to wait for Yurio to reply before falling into deep thought. A minute passed by before the alpha spoke again. “That’s impossible, I would’ve felt _something_ through our bond.” 

“You said it yourself. The bond is broken, Victor.” 

It’s left unsaid that Victor is broken too. 

\------------------------------ 

**21 ; 17**

“Yuuri.” 

“Yes?” 

He’s a boy of few words now. 

They think it’s because he’s had his first heat, has felt a knot, has submitted to his base instincts. No one knows the truth. 

**_No one knows the truth._ **

“It’s time for you to move to Russia, Yuuri.” 

**_Only he knows the truth._ **

“Okay.” 

**_Only he will drown in it._ **

"Perfect!"

**_Only he will burn in it._ **

\------------------------------ 

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! If you have any questions or concerns (or just want to freak out w me) about the story, please don't hesitate to comment down below, send a dm through twitter, or send a question through cc (I love interacting with you all and it really motivates me to get the next chapter out asap). Stay safe! <3
> 
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/scwriting_)
> 
> [my cc](https://curiouscat.me/scwriting_)


End file.
